12/08/08
General Outlook
Ok, I think I lied a little bit! (mostly to myself if that counts?). Depression set in for a few weeks, quite deeply. Today I’ve had my Anti-Depressant increased, I’m glad, as I couldn’t do this alone.
Everything else seems to be ticking along, work is an effort, concentration too, but at least I’m trying.
Activities
- Watching TV
- Reading a little
- Forcing relaxation
Eating
- Beans
- Toast
- Cheese
- Pasta
- Trying to stay away from chocolate
Watching
- Big Brother
- X-Factor starts Saturday YAY
Reading
- One of those working girl books, you know like “travelling escort”, it’s cheap in it’s nature, although entertaining.
Listening To
16/07/08
General Outlook
I can feel the depression lifting, I still have an anxious and rather twitchy fell about me, but the feeling of depression is not as heavy. I read a few chapters in a book last night, which is a first for a few weeks and certainly made me feel better.
Side effects from the Depakote jump are lessening, I’m still feeling tired which is nice. I’m a bit anxious as I need to visit my mum this weekend, as much as I love her the position she’s put herself in and her outlook can sometimes trigger me. The fact that AT is working makes it that much worse, as she usually protects me a bit.
Activities
- Raiding car boots and enjoying the treasure hunt
- Reading a little
- Eating with friends, first time in years I had a sit down meal with friend and partners. It was an outrageous night and very funny.
Eating
- Co-Op Davistow cheese, mm
- Cookies, evil food
- Marmalade, with Anchor butter on toast.
Watching
- Bargain Hunt
- Car Booty
- Big Brother (Luke is such a cow)
Reading
- My booky wook – Russell Brand, supposedly a fellow Bipolar. Started reading it last night.
28/06/08
General Outlook
Feeling a bit better than I have for weeks this morning, I’m hoping that the high is easing off. My dose of Depakote was increased yesterday, from 500mg twice a day to 750mg twice a day.
It was a messy day yesterday, I really wanted to write, but nothing could come out, the blog post took over an hour! After a sackload of rage events, I splodged out at home. About 9.30pm, I was overcome by a strange sensation, tiredness! Probably not the most sensible thing to do, but I fought it to the last moment enjoying the sensation, it’s so alien. 11.30pm, couldn’t take any more, was in bed asleep in seconds and out until 8.00am this morning, yay for sleep!
Activities
- Visiting car boots and charity shops, picking up vintage pieces
- Managing my eBay shop which is going really well
- Researching collectables and antiques, growing the brain
- Blitzing the house of all junk, I’m selling at a carboot tomorrow for the first time ever. Hoping to make some cash for a small trip away.
Eating
- Coleslaw baby, has to me with creme friashe
- Cookies, evil food
- Cheerios – mm
Wow all C’s, hmm
Watching
- BIG BROTHER *dances*
Reading
- Blogs, articles and books on antiques and collectables, including hallmarks
- The Eyes of a King – Catherine Banner has arrived, I plan to dive in asap for some downtime
17/06/08
General Outlook
Waa I’ve had a bad start to the day at the dentists, injections into the nerve, tears, shakes.. let’s not even mention the constant taste of clove. We’ll leave it there.
I’m generally a bit lethargic at the moment, sleeping more than usual, although this means about six hours opposed to four. I’ve suddenly reached the point that I can’t cash cheques my hypomania has written, god I should know better. I’m slowly making my way through each one, tippy toe.
At least “coming out” has lightened the load a little, hmm.
Activities
- eBaying most evenings, buiding auctions and replying to queries
- Sleeping
- Visiting car boots and charity shops, picking up vintage pieces
- Researching collectables and antiques, growing the brain
Eating
- English mustard with honey and cider vinegar – new to me!
- Quorn chicken
- Slow Cooker Potatoe Curry
Watching
- BIG BROTHER *dances*
Reading
- Blogs, articles and books on antiques and collectables, including hallmarks
- The Eyes of a King – Catherine Banner has arrived, I plan to dive in asap for some downtime
09/06/08
General Outlook
Feeling a lot lighter after our camping trip, the weather was finally on our side! Two days of sun, wind, sneaky scooby snacks have put me in a good stead for the upcoming week.
I’m feeling a lot more settled in myself, relaxing into my own skin, learning a little more about myself and making choices in how to react where I can to people and situations. Unfortunately, there is an argument brewing with a friend. He has taken the Michael for a little too long, not sending AT a birthday card even though he’s known her 20 years, eating at our house twice a week, being a judgemental git. Time for those ties to be cut.
Anyway, CPN visit for the first time in three weeks today, so much for the weekly update! Let’s see if my blood results are in.
Activities
- Camper-Vanning, yay! Now the sun’s here, I’ll be out all the time.
- Designing and creating T-Shirts, I hate run of the mill and I carry a little weight, so this weekend it was the quarterly appointment to create some new beauties. They look good too!
- Talking – Shock horror, involving AT in my thoughts and plans, being open to new ideas.
- Selling on eBay, it’s going well.
Eating
- Creamy coleslaw
- Cheese with pickled onion inserts
- Quorn chicken
- Mushroom risotto
Watching
- BIG BROTHER *dances*
Reading
I’ve tripped the switch when it comes to Bipolar books, so:-
- Reading blogs at the moment, what took me so long to warm to them? Salted Lithium, Paramedic and Secret Life of The Manic Depressive feature highly.
- I’ve ordered some new books for this week, including His Dark Materials Set – Phillip Pullman and The Eyes of a King – Catherine Banner. I’ll let you know how it goes.
02/06/08
General Outlook
Feeling a little lighter, frustrated that I let depression sneak in, even if it is just for a little bit.
Very pleased that I am again showering every night, wearing contact lenses (hate glasses) and spiking the hair. It’s so visably obvious when I’m depressed, I just can’t function, showering and routine is far too hard and the last thing on my mind.
New bed has arrived, it’s pure indulgence and any guilt about it’s purchase disappears when you climb, yes climb into it! I’m off to the seaside with AT and Mr. Bojangles this weekend, I can’t wait to slum it, such fun. Because I’m so infectious about Mr. Bojangles, two work colleagues have bought tents! We’ve now arranged our first “Camp Camping” outing, for the first weekend in July, should be a great laugh.
I’ve started my new dose of Depekote and who know if that is responsible for the uplift in my mood, either way, I’m hoping that the uplift hangs around, I can’t bear anything when I’m depressed. It seems my concentration and patience are returning, which is purely delicious!
Activities
- The first four eBay auctions are up and running, they have received positive comments about the design, let’s hope we can build a fun sideline!
- I’m still building a web page for my Mum’s new gym, the look got the sign off, so now for the hard work scripting and making it sound like a place you want to visit.
- Sleeping and generally rolling about in my deluxe and F*@”ing expensive new bed.
- Tidying up and scrubbing like a mad ‘un, so theraputic.
Eating
- Chocolate Friji
- Snickers
- Massive Home-Made Veggie Stew
- Jacket Potatoes
Watching
- Katie & Peter, he’s such a dick!
Reading
I am lacking in the reading stakes at the moment, concentration will not apply to it.
- You Don’t have to be famous to have manic depression, (Jeremy Thomas, Dr Tony Hughes) – It’s an ok read, unfortunately, it’s not grabbing me as I thought it might.
- My Story, (Paul Gasgoine) – This is the Auto-Biog about his illness and therapy, it’s a great read so far, very open and thought provoking.
30/05/08
General Outlook
In a stinking mood, have a big headache and cannot concentrate for more than 30 seconds on anything. Been on a five hour sleeping routine for the past week or so now, starting to make me grumpy, trying my hardest to relax and regulate my mood naturally, hoping this will blow over… In the meantime, I’m trying out solitary.
Had my blood test today, up at the CMHT HQ. Dr was really nervous for some reason, he knows me and my case and I don’t believe myself intimidating, think it’s to do with the fact my veins are buried deep and it’s always difficult to get blood. He impressed me though, third attempt and we had it, just waiting for the scarey bruise that always appears after one of those!
Munching on a Maple & Pecan Cupcake (mmm), I’ll come back with an update when I’m a little more fun.
Activities
- Starting up a new eBay venture with a work colleague, he buys in Antiques and Collectables, I market build eBay pages and sell them on-line. We split the profits, sounds fun.
- Building a web page for my Mum’s new gym.
- Avoiding TV, hating the noise, prefer relaxing music
- Irritating people, for some reason, I’m pushing people as far as I can before they snap, I seem to get a kick out of it.
Eating
- Too much!
- Cake
- Frosties
- Salt ‘n Shake Crisps
Watching
- Nothing, TV is too noisy and intrusive
Reading
I am lacking in the reading stakes at the moment, concentration will not apply to it.
- You Don’t have to be famous to have manic depression, (Jeremy Thomas, Dr Tony Hughes) – It’s an ok read, unfortunately, it’s not grabbing me as I thought it might.
- My Story, (Paul Gasgoine) – This is the Auto-Biog about his illness and therapy, it’s a great read so far, very open and thought provoking.
